هذا الذي شُرّفت بالزواج به

لا يُذكر الناس بعد وفاتهم وبين الملأ الأعلى بنسبهم أو مناصبهم أو مالهم وإنما بمناقبهم وصلاح أعمالهم وسمو أخلاقهم

رقيق القلب يغلبه دمعه أمام أي موقفٍ إنساني أو عاطفي، لكن يتحلى بشجاعةٍ وقوة وإيمان كالتي يتصف بها أكثر الرجال صلابةً وقوة

جريءٌ في صراحته وقوله الحق على نفسه أولاً وعلى غيره أيًا كان ثانيًا، لا يهاب في ذلك أحدًا ولا يقيم وزنًا سوى لشرع الله مع التزامه في ذلك الاحترام ومراعاة شعور الغير

لا يتردد في الاعتراف بخطئه والاعتذار عن ذلك ولا يجد في ذلك أي حرجٍ أو انتقاص لرجولته وشخصه

لا تعنيه الممتلكات ولا الموازين ولا القيم الدنيوية في شيءٍ ولا يقيم لها وزنًا، لكنها الرغبة في مساعدة الفقير واليتيم والضعيف التي يحبها ويسعى إليها

قمةٌ في الكرم والسخاء على من يحتاج ويستحق، ضنينٌ على نفسه أولاً وعلى من لا يستحق ثانيًا، لا تحركه في ذلك أي محاباةٍ أو تملق أو مصلحة

ومع هذه الفضائل كلها تأتي خفةٌ في الظل وروحٌ مليئةٌ بالحياة تعشق المرح والسفر والرياضة واللعب وتعلم كل شيء وكافة الحرف والصنعات… نفسٌ إيجابية تتوق للتفوق في جميع النواحي… ووجهٌ باسم يكره العبوس

كأني طفلته….

لم أر منه يومًا تجاهي إلا حبًا وحنانًا واهتمامًا وقلقًا علي واحترامًا ودعمًا وسعيًا لإسعادي ومحبةً وودًا لأهلي لم أظنه يوجد في الواقع وإنما هو نسج الأفلام والروايات

غيرته عليّ كانت شديدة لكنها رائعة… فهي غيرة من يصون جوهرته ويحميها في كل لحظة دون أن يحجب لمعانها بأي قدر أو يحاول إخفاءها لأن ثقته بنفسه وبمدى حبه لي فاقت أي خوفٍ قد يتملكه من أن يأخذ غيره مكانه في قلبي

لا أستطيع وإن جهدت أن أذكر أنه في يومٍ رفع صوته أثناء محادثتي أو وجه لي كلمةً قد يكون فيها أي إساءةٍ أو إهانةٍ لي أو لأيٍ من أهلي

هاجسه كان كل ما يسعدني، فأعطاني من الذكريات الجميلة في سنتين ما يحتاج غيره إلى عمرٍ طويل من الزواج ليعطيه… ولولاه أيضًا ما استطعت استبقاء وحفظ لحظاتٍ ومشاعر هي الأهم والأغلى والأجمل في حياتي

آمن بقدراتي وذكائي إلى درجةٍ فاقت ما أقدره أنا في نفسي، وأشاد بي في أي جمعٍ أكثر مما أشاد بنفسه، واهتم لنجاحي أكثر مما اهتم لنجاحه… لكن الأروع أنه حتى أثناء مرضه العضال كان هاجسه هو قلقه عليّ حدًا تفيض معه دموعه.. ويقول لي: لا تهمني الحياة في شيء ولا أرجو زيادتها إلا قلقًا وخوفًا عليك بعد رحيلي، أنت سببي الوحيد لتمني الشفاء

استقامته وثبات مبادئه وخوفه من الله كان يزيدني إعجابًا به كل يوم… تعلمت منه الكثير وأنا التي قلما أثار شخصٌ إعجابي… أعطاني دروسًا في الحياة وفي ما هو مهم فعلاً من هذه الدنيا غيرتني للأبد

مثله صنيع الجنة وبإذن الله إليها يعود

أتمناه زوجًا في الجنة وأدعو ربي أن يجمعني به…

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Privilege in Calamity

I’ve searched for love for years, yearned for the feeling of being regarded as someone’s princess, lifelong dream and treasure, a survival necessity.  I seriously doubted such love still existed, if it did I doubted even more it will come my way.  But I found it.. Finally.. Unbelievably… and it exceeded even my dreams and expectations…

Then it was taken away …

Such irony… When you think you have just gathered all the winning cards and gotten everything you ever wished for… At that very moment one of them gets taken away.

Don’t get me wrong… My wishes were never unrealistic or extravagant… I never cared for riches, fame or to live a dream life… I just longed for what I deem the elements of complete happiness… Health, children, comfortable living, a good job, nice looks, amazing family and friends, fine social status and above all… Love!

I never wanted more, this was perfect for me.  Although I had to work hard to make my living comfortable but I was okay with that.  Paid years of my life to get and care for what turned out to be wonderful children in a marriage I was very unhappy in, but I’m still very thankful, no regrets whatsoever.  So when I finally found the love I needed, I thought to myself I really cannot ask for more nor want more.  I wished to be able to sustain what I had.  I didn’t care to become wealthy or super successful, but very happy finally having all my happiness essentials covered.  I wish it could’ve stayed this way.  It never does.  I enjoyed that for a year and a half then it was time to let go of one of them… Love!!

I’m very thankful though for that year and a half… Many people go through life without experiencing it…

The tormenting part and what’s more difficult than separation is watching someone you love in pain… Life departing him slowly, daily.. Observing him transform from someone full of vigor, life, hopes and dreams to a helpless person whose biggest ambition is to be able to eat and sleep peacefully.

I am privileged though that I am next to him while he’s going through this.  Taking care of him, comforting him, caressing his head and cheeks, giving him as much love as I can.

He gave me my best moments in life.  Did everything in his power and was even creative in making sure that the moments that mattered the most to me were lived, enjoyed and reserved in photos.  He went beyond the expectations or the norms in doing so.  In every minute of every day we were together, even throughout his sickness, he worried most about me.  I was his whole life.  He gave me life !

I’m immensely thankful for experiencing such love during my lifetime… We shall reunite again in the next eternal one

A Perspective on Praying

Today, my son apologized for “being too pushy”, nagging me to read a story he had written.  He said it’s only because my feedback is important to him.  I was not annoyed of course.  On the contrary, it made me very happy because, if anything, his nagging meant he acknowledges my expertise and skills in the field and values my feedback.  My opinion matters considerably to him, and that’s a very gratifying feeling that any parent can identify with.

His words gave me an insight into one of the reasons praying to God is of paramount importance, and why God loves that we pray and send requests to the point of nagging/insisting.

Some misrepresent God’s urging us to pray to be a self-satisfying need to feel greatness or power.  Well firstly, no being of such magnitude and powers would “need” the acknowledgement of us, the most insignificant creations.  He would be more concerned with the much grander creations (planets, galaxies, the whole universe) praying to Him (and we know they do!!).  It is we that need that.

Praying and asking God for forgiveness, for Him to be happy with you, or even for some worldly rewards, is actually a combination of the following:

  • Acknowledgement of His existence, powers and control over everything. And that nothing can happen or exist except by His wish and command.  It’s a declaration of Belief.
  • Demonstration of a need for Him.
  • Expression of concern and valuation of what He thinks.

It is a proof by deeds, not empty words, that you truly believe in Him, just in the same way that love cannot be substantiated merely with words.

A man tells a woman “he loves her”, yet she never hears from him.  She calls him 5 times a day, he dismisses the calls justifying that by replying that he’s too busy or has important meetings, he’s going out with friends, etc..  Can she still believe him? Wouldn’t she naturally question his love? Even breakup with him?! All she asked for was for him to at least call her for 5 minutes, five times a day, to tell her he remembers her, needs her, she means the world to him, and is everything in his life.  That’s the minimum a lover is expected to do.

Your employer continuously pays your salary, bonus, and other wonderful rewards.  You totally ignore his orders, are not on-time for meetings, you don’t report to him, nor even acknowledge his existence, let alone authority and judgement.  You go as far as disobeying his orders.  Isn’t it normal for him to dispense your services?!  You’re basically telling him you don’t need the money nor the position.

There is, above all that, a spiritual need for us to pray.  There’s a constantly nagging feeling when we don’t pray that we’re neglecting something important, duties, that we’re going to be accountable for!!  Our souls remain restless.

I heard once a very compelling deduction on “sleeping” (another one of science’s shortcomings of explaining why we need to sleep).  The human consists of two things: the physical body, and the soul/spirit.  The physical body’s needs are essentially the food, water and exercise.

The soul, on the other hand, has different types of needs that are equally crucial.  One of them is “sleep”! 

Sleep-deprivation leads to all kinds of issues, from weight gain to a weakened immune system, and even eventually death. And after decades of research and discoveries, the answer to the “Why we need to sleep?” is essentially not answered yet.  While it’s easy, for example, to explain the need for eating being the means to obtain the necessary nutrients, it’s not the same with sleep.  It’s not clear why the outcome of sleeping can’t happens while in the wake state.  Or what in essence is the difference between the wake and sleep states.

Islam explains “sleep” as being a form of death, calls it a “minor death”, during which the soul leaves the body and this realm, and floats to another.  The soul needs to make this separation every night, to evade this material existence, in order to rest, reset and recharge spiritually, coming closer to its Creator.  Afterwards, it either returns back to the body (if the person has more time to live) or doesn’t, and he’s declared medically dead.

This is one of the needs of the soul.  Another, is the need for the connection/communication with its Creator through prayer and supplication.  It greatly comforts the weary and anxious soul.

He needs our prayer?!  A being that created such an unfathomable universe with all its creatures, the ones we know and the much more we have yet to know, needs us tiny little beings to acknowledge that he’s powerful?! Really?!!

It is we that need to reach out to Him and draw ourselves closer to Him.  And He Knows that, because He created us and is merely telling us how to live our lives in the manner that brings us happiness and serenity.

Dear Atheist.. Let’s talk logic !!

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Ego is rightfully placed amongst the biggest sins because it causes us to perceive ourselves as being much bigger and more knowledgeable than we actually are, when viewing life and the world..
We’re smaller than a speck of dust compared to the universe, and our knowledge, yet smaller.  There is no justification, nor historical reference for that matter, for thinking that we’ve reached a stage where we KNOW IT ALL.  Nonetheless, we’re driven by our ego that causes us to demand of the Creator, controller, and motion-organizer of this vast universe to give us a proof of His existence and power .. as if all the miracles that exist in our own selves and everything around us are not enough!

Spiritual-wise:  (if you’re spiritually-oriented then..)

Faith is a need and urge that exists in our innate nature.. He is in no need for us, it is WE who need Him, we need to believe in the Great Creator that has brought us to being, and to hold on to faith in order to rest our, otherwise, troubled souls.. this need keeps nagging upon us.  We feel otherwise lost trying to answer questions like who are we, and what is the purpose of all of this? And… What next?!!

This is particularly evident in times of severe and sudden psychological trauma, fear, or despair, when one gets freed from all reservations, and acts in absolute spontaneity.  This is when even atheists find themselves begging for God’s Help and Mercy.
It is also the reason behind the noticeable tranquility, calmness in demeanor, peace and contented smile observed in people of strong faith and religion.  It is not attributed to wealth as it’s found even with the poorest of people, definitely not because they enjoy a good retirement system!  This calmness is especially unmistakable is Muslims, because they know they got it right.  Those who have strong, unshaken conviction based on knowledge and research feel certain they have found the last piece in the hugely complex puzzle of their spirituality that “Clicked” in place, causing them to experience satisfaction in wholesomeness and clarity, and are therefore relieved, reassured, and calm at last.  They amazingly find privilege in calamity, knowing that hardships are God’s way of purifying a person of sins, reminding the soul of its Creator, keeping it grounded, not overtaken by ego yet again, bringing it closer to Him and the warmth of His Mercy and Care.

Those that live without holding on to believing in God, on the other hand, mostly live in anxiety and restlessness, as reported by many ex-atheists who felt lost, confused, and in immense need for guidance.

Proof-wise:  (if you’re science-oriented)

The proofs to the existence of God are countless and in abundance, in every single one of His creations.  It’s unexplainable how a logical human would not accept that a glass of water can exist without someone making it, yet they are willing to concede the existence of this unfathomable universe without a Creator.

Atheists argue that religion does not give us tangible proof or answers to every single thing.  Well, science fails to, and is not able to, answer all questions.  It remains incapable of providing explanations for numerous things.  Yet atheists are willing to bet their lives and the Ever-after on it, rather than bet on religion which presents far more evidence on the existence of a Creator.

They ask, so who created God? Which totally contradicts with calling Him a Creator.

This is exactly why God says in the Quran that of all the believers, it is scientists that have the most fear of God (having known His Power and Abilities through the study of His Creations).  Of course here we’re talking about the scientists who are humble enough to admit it, not those who perceive that science made them all powerful and too big to bow to a Creator, how little they become when they’re that inflated!  And that is why we witness many atheist scientists converting to Islam (being the most logical religion).

Business-wise:   (if you’re business and profitability-oriented)

Consider the following:

  • Around 7% of the World’s population only are Atheists (around half of which are in China, the second biggest majority in Russia, both countries influenced by their regimes into adopting atheism.  Both seeing a conversion movement.).  So wouldn’t probability suggest that 93% are more likely to be right?  And why is it that most of the elite scientists are not atheists?
  • Science is still unable to answer many critical questions (After life, soul, purpose of life, origin of universe, and many many more. Religion also does not answer some questions, which are considered kept by the All-Knowing for purposes unknown to us, but also gives us some answers to questions science can’t.  Yet, you’d rather risk your whole life on science, a created being in itself with all its laws, mechanics and theories, rather than place your bet on the one that created science?
  • Considering above arguments, associated risk in both scenarios, and probability that greatly favors the likelihood that God exists, ask yourself:

What if you were wrong?!!

What you stand to lose here far exceeds what a person of faith would lose if he discovered he was wrong.

Logic-wise:

  • Accountability: Atheism is mostly favored by certain people to escape accountability and the fact that this gives them endless freedom to do what they desire without fear of consequences (repercussion).  But think about this… Every human system that exists applies the rules of accountability, ever since we were children, at home, in school, college, at work.. etc.  So, in the holistic life-system, are we not accountable for how good or bad we are? And if not, what could possibly motivate us to excel and do more in charity and kindness? What compels us to go above and beyond our basic law-enforced duties and do the right thing? On the flip side, what stops us from being obnoxious?
  • Purpose: Every object that exists in our life has a purpose, so what is the purpose of ours? Why do we even bother to get up in the morning and work?
  • Morality: What is our source of morality? Atheists sometimes argue that we can be non-believers yet conduct ourselves in the highest ethical standards.  True, But…

Who’s to say or decide what’s right or wrong? Where is the reference if not religion?  Why wouldn’t people have a sexual relationship with a sibling for example? Why would they get married, they can just have sex in the street, with whoever, or whatever for that matter.  Where did the laws of conduct come from?  And let’s say you happen to be a civilized, well-balanced, ethical human, don’t you think there are very bad atheists, with absolutely no moral inclination?  Wouldn’t you then fear for your children, daughter, sister, mother, the elderly? How would the society look like when people have no predisposition to try to do only the right thing?

  • Motivation: If we assume this whole life is for nothing, no purpose, no creator, no accountability whatsoever, and no afterlife, why not we all end it and solve our every problem?  It would be easier than having to go through all struggles and challenges.  What motivates us to continues living, working hard, getting up in the morning, if all this was for nothing at all?
  • Order: This extreme order and organization that’s apparent in every single aspect of this life HAS to be controlled and managed by some all-knowing all-magnificent power. It can’t be just a chaotic/unorderly sequence of events.  Every single man-made system that exists (e.g. machines, governments, production lines, health systems, education, etc. ) has a manager or a parallel mechanism that controls and monitors it, in order to ensure it operates/runs properly and corrects any mistakes should it deviate from normal/intended path.  There has to be a manager with checks and balances done.  This is a law of life we’re living by daily.  So who’s the Creator and Manager of the greatest and biggest of all systems?  Nature is a creation in itself, it doesn’t have the intelligence or knowledge to make things happen.  Whereas whoever created and is controlling this unfathomable universe has to have an amount of intelligence that is beyond our imagination and comprehension.  Yet, as insignificant as we are compared to the universe, our ego become so inflated with the minute amount of science we’ve come to know and the first thing we decided to do is to challenge our Creator and deny His existence.  Ask Him to prove Himself to us.  How dare we??!!
  • Innate knowledge: How were all the creatures, humans, animals and plants, born with innate knowledge that guided them on what they should do from the moment they were born? How did the spider learn to create a web so perfect that it takes a skilled artist or architect years to learn to do?  How did the new leaves on a plant know where to stem from when it was discovered that the new stem location process follows a Fibonacci numbering system?  Where did the unbelievable amount of knowledge found in our DNA come from when nature itself is a non-intelligent creation?

It just doesn’t make sense at all!!!

You know what makes sense?

It is that we are here for a purpose, there is a Creator, this life is only but a short phase no matter how long we live and it passes so quickly, and we shall have to come face to face with all our actions, good or bad, someday!!

Yet God puts us in higher standing and regards us more than we really deserve, favoring us to angels for having willingly chosen to worship Him, unlike angels who have no will or ability to choose.

The stakes are just too high for you to keep on ignoring this matter.  My sincere advice: read, research, learn, ask (pray) with all sincerity for guidance and truth, approach the topic with a totally open and unbiased mind, and above all, with humility.  Humble yourself enough to conceit a possibility of a Creator that you should ask for help.  And finally, put your ego, other peoples’ influences, and worldly matters aside.

He loses nothing with or without you on His side. YOU stand to lose EVERYTHING, and ETERNALLYThis IS the most important project you need to work on in your life.

You only get one chance, one lifetime, so please get it right!!

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Why Him?*

Because he is extremely ethical and principled not only in words but also in deeds..

Because I respect, admire, and cherish everything that he is, and never have I thought as many traits could exist in one..

Because I haven’t met a person with such a well-rounded character before, truly a Jack-of-all-trades, and that only motivates me to do more with my life..

Because I have yet to hear of a man who has read several big books on relationships and how to achieve a successful partnership .. Which only shows how much of a man and caring partner he is..

Because I haven’t thought I could be blessed with a husband that asks me every now and then how he can make me happy, and truly earnestly means it, even after he got me to be his wife.. Or that such men even existed for that matter..

Because as great as he is, he still has no reservations expressing how willing and eager he is to improve further to be an even better partner ..

Because he is a generous man in every possible way, and to the extent of his ability..

Because through his eyes and actions I feel the love, kindness and care of a father..

Because he loved my smile and looks even when I had my braces on..

Because he is so thoughtful, reliable and attentive to every detail that I feel compelled to do more to equal that..

Because he never hurt my feelings even remotely and is very careful not to..

Because there isn’t a single mean cell in his body.. He has the heart and loving nature of a baby, yet the looks, strength, and faith of a very solid tough man..

Because even though I took a huge leap of faith getting married to someone I only knew for a little over a month, he makes me more certain with every day that passes that my faith in him was justified.  I would still take the same leap if I were to choose again..

Because I am not having to write these words to find something to gift him on his birthday, but feel overwhelmingly wanting to express them..

Because, regarding me as a treasure, he feels he should strive to fulfill my every dream and doesn’t realize how I already regard him as a Godsend..

Because there’s a lot for me to learn from him..

Because even through tough or stressful times he makes me feel calm putting more faith and tranquility in my heart..

Because having him in my life I find myself going to bed everyday with a smile on my face and love in my heart, not a tear in my eyes or fear in my heart..

 

In short, it’s because I would just love to grow old with him  ❤

 

*Note: This was written a year before, but only published Mar 12th 2018

 

 

 

Do Not Cheer Me When I’m Wrong

Do Notpraise me if I don’t deserve praise.

Do Nottell me I look good just to flatter me, or hoping that I “return the compliment”.

Do Notlike my photos, posts, or what I write if you don’t really like them or you disagree.

Do Notsend me happy birthday wishes if you do it out of courtesy or duty.

Do Notgift me for any reason other than sincerely wanting to.

Do Not tell me you like me or miss me if you really don’t.

Do Not commend any of my acts if they’re wrong or unjust.

Do Not support me if I stray.

Do Not tell me I’m good when I’m being bad.

One genuine, loving, sincere word is to me worth much more than all the fake likes and compliments.  And one genuine, sincere, loving friend is worth a hundred fake ones.

I totally understand being nice to people, wanting to make them feel great and lifting up their spirits.  This is honorable and commendable.  But when it’s done for special interests, expecting reciprocation, in social hypocrisy, or for fear of upsetting the praised person, it becomes ugly and distasteful.

Disability

One is never disabled, even when physically challenged, until one CHOOSES to be disabled

Class

One important sign of class is showing consideration and respect to others. This has no correlation whatsoever with financial or social status or race.

One example is how people cross the street. There are those who try to clear the distance quickly and nod to waiting cars in appreciation (classy), and those who tread slowly and don’t even acknowledge the cars waiting (arrogant).

A humble, Indian man today crossed the street in front of me and waved as a thank you, running so as not to make me wait. Much classier than most nowadays!! I saluted back thanking God for such polite humans.

It’s those little things 🙂

Am I Happily Unmarried?

(Written before my second, hopefully lasting, marriage).

A few days ago I was asked if I was happy being unmarried.  The answer came out without hesitation: “It’s absolutely much better than having to live with the wrong person, yet again, worse than being with someone that you love.”

Becoming single once again gave me so many things that I’m thankful for.  It, most importantly, showed me my strengths, that I am perfectly capable of sustaining myself, succeeding, living on my own without relying on anyone, something I’ve cherished from an early age.  It introduced me again to my passions, the things I like to do but have always set aside in favor of other priorities.  I re-discovered Me.  I was forced to learn to do stuff I never knew anything about because there was always someone else handling them.

We leave our parents’ safe-haven to the guardianship of our partner without learning the essentials of life and survival.  We remain shielded from the realities of paying the bills, rental procedures, employment contracts, car maintenance, etc.  This is not to be misunderstood as being the parents’ mistake, rather our wrong, misinformed decision to get married and completely surrender our reins before knowing what life is all about and learning the rules of the “jungle”.

This period of independence and self-reliance is essential, preferably before marriage.  The self-discovery and self-improvement would even make things easier on the partner and increase the marriage’s potential for success.

Other benefits of being single we all know..

First there’s the obvious, having the bed ALL to yourself 🙂 .  Then, not having to coordinate your plans, time and vacations or compromise on anything you enjoy doing.  Traveling as you wish and exercising all the spontaneity your heart desires.  You’re not responsible for anyone, nor are you accountable to anyone.  You’re the master of your life.

Drifting in thought while counting my blessings, I stop for a couple of minutes and go back to an idea I always believed in..

“Being married to someone you deeply love and get along very well with is Heaven on Earth.”

All accomplishments, achievements, fortunes, and good times, dwindle against the fulfillment of  sharing them with someone special.  Sharing the laughter, stories, pains, planning, traveling, and rewards.  After all, what meaning and flavor is there to life if not for the happy moments.

And no amount of success, richness, makeup, and surgeries can make you look and feel as beautiful and radiant with glow and shine as when happily in love.

Surely, “The only reason for marriage is love” _Diana Spencer

آفة التندر والسخرية

لم أجد شعوبًا توظّف التندر والاستهزاء بالآخرين مادةً لضحكاتها قدر الشعوب العربية، ولا أجد أقوامًا تضيع وقتها في صياغة النكات مثلنا.. وليتها جاءت من شعوب تملك مقومات الغرور والشعور بالفوقية.. أم أنه الشعور المبطّن بالضعف والنقص والازدحام بالعيوب أو قلة الحيلة يدفع صاحبه لتصيّد ما يغطي به سوأته؟؟؟

وبغض النظر عن وجود تلك العيوب والصفات التي يخصونها بالسخرية بالفعل.. لا يحق لأحدٍ أن يسخر من أحد أو يقلّل من شأنه… وبالأخص في سماته الخُلُقية وظروف حياته، أو طريقة كلامه ومشيته وملبسه، وغير ذلك

أرجو أن لا يساء فهمي بأنني ضد الضحك، بل أنا في الحقيقة أعشقه… إلا أنني لا أرضى أن يكون ذلك على حساب آخرين وإن لم يصلهم

وإن كانت السخرية من الخصال التي تدخل في صميم تكويننا وحمضنا النووي فلنوجهها على من يظلم العباد أو يكذب أو يؤذي غيره، ولتكن في أفعاله تلك فقط وليس في شكله أو عيوبه الخُلُقية أو مظهره.. ولنوظّف طاقاتنا المبهرة على الإضحاك في إصلاح آفات مجتمعنا وما أكثرها