Are We Disabling Our Loved Ones?

Bound by love and empathy we could sometimes inadvertently disable the very people that we love.

How can that happen?

By lending too much help to the elderly, bringing them that cup of water, conceding to their inclination not to push themselves to move and exercise, encouraging them to stay lazy, at home sitting on the couch not doing much moving, and not being productive at all, and whether it’s out of love, sympathy, sense of respect, sense of duty, you name it, we are consequently disabling them.

Their body needs to make the extra effort, their muscles have to maintain their strength, and most importantly, their brain needs to keep thinking, analyzing, solving problems, remembering.  Otherwise, their body and mental capabilities start to gradually wither.

We must differentiate between what respect, kindness, care, love, and the Holiest most sacred duty is, and what is scientifically required to keep them in their best possible condition.  It might be annoying at first, they might resent it, but they’ll eventually love it and see the hidden wisdom.

Support your elderly to be active, do things for themselves, be independent, even be productive according to their passion or area of expertise.  It will give them a sense of purpose as opposed to being prisoners of their own weaknesses, counting the days till they depart.  It’s a slow suicide, and if you encourage it, you’re an accomplice !!

Life doesn’t end at 65 or 70, on the contrary, there’s still a lot to give now that they are freed from job restrictions.  This is the time when all the years of experience can be put as guidance to the younger generation.

I cannot accept that an older person has to just sit and lay down counting days, being unproductive to himself or to society.  People nowadays live till they reach their 90s, so are we to waste 30 years of our lives doing NOTHING?!!

First and most importantly, they need to keep exercising.  The body and muscle system are one’s best support.  No one in the world can benefit a person as much as his body can, and this amazing machine is capable of miracles. They need to eat right and keep moving.  Encouraging them to just sit on the sofa, having food and drinks be brought to them isn’t respectful, it’s a killer.  An easy way out to keep them from going around the house doing stuff.  Just like we keep a baby sedated with an iPad when we don’t want him making a mess.

Next, they need to remain productive and have a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and to feel that they are indeed needed.  They MUST do something everyday, whether it’s reading, writing, painting, helping with the grandchildren, garden or decoration.  Whatever they’re passionate about, even if it’s slightly physically demanding.  At the very least, give them puzzles to solve in those “absolutely must rest” times.

You want to show love and care and spoil them, then by all means give them a massage, go with them to Yoga classes, take them for walks, teach them how to use the iPad and research stuff, then let them do it for themselves.  Don’t give them concise ready answers, let them read, research and discover, they need to keep those brain cells working.

Some will say “But you can’t ignore the fact that their physical and mental capabilities are not the same, you cannot force them to do activities”.  Wrong!!

It is undoubtedly undeniable that the body and mind are not as able as they used to be in childhood and middle age, but then again their abilities did NOT drop to zero either, so do not cause them to. We see people who live with actual disabilities, yet they are able to outperform some who are perfectly capable.  Stephen Hawking is an excellent example of a person who’s completely paralyzed, yet able to remain incredibly productive.  We’ve also seen many examples of older people who are a lot more capable physically than their younger counterparts.

Don’t disable them.  Motivate them to become stronger, more active and independent.  Ensure taking enough safety measures just like you would for a child.  

Help them help themselves !!  Love them in the right way just like you do your children !!

My Sacred Beliefs

Not resolutions, but solid beliefs I’m carrying to the coming year:

– Always “For” Love, Respect, Compassion, Honesty, Peace, Positivity and whatever leads to them..

– Always “Against” Hate, War, Injustice, Sarcasm & Judging, Racism, Pretension & Fakeness, Negativity, and whatever leads to them

– I believe deeply in Islam and everything it stands for, as much as I believe in the oneness of all Holy messages and as much as I respect everyone else’s right and freedom to choose their faiths

– It’s my and everyone’s sacred duty to develop oneself EVERY SINGLE DAY.. Read, learn, teach, exercise, eat healthy, speak words of wisdom and kindness to others, serve others, don’t “just live” (eat, drink, sleep, party)

– Life is truly short, take a chance on happiness.. Tomorrow might be too late

– Most importantly, Smile and don’t cause anyone pain, worry or a tear

Wishing Everyone Happy & Blessed Holidays & New Year

Islam & Love

On the occasion of the Valentine’s Day..

Islam is and will always be a religion of Love
It supports, promotes and encourages Love .. Any practices that speak to the contrary are misinterpretations by the ignorant, or attempts to deface this beautiful religion

On Being Classy..

A person’s character is one whole package, so if you think you’re classy yet cut into queues, drive recklessly, tailgate, or treat people with disrespect no matter who they are… Think Again !!!

Your clothes don’t define you, your actions definitely do !!

N.B.: I’m a tailgating hater, in case you couldn’t tell  ..

Say it.. Honestly & Clearly

A Valentine’s Day special on relationships:

To Men.. Just say it !!

Be honorable, respectful, brave, and forthright every step of the way.. Whether it’s good or bad. Don’t lie, hide or be evasive, those are signs of weakness, or worse.. Very unbecoming of a man !!

Whether you love her or you’re Not into her.. Still not sure or she means the world to you but circumstances are difficult… Tell Her !!

Being honest and frank isn’t bad, disrespectful or hurtful, as long as it is done considerately.. Quite the opposite, it’s very noble.. Breaking up is many times easier than hanging on to an Illusion..

Don’t hijack her decision, keep her analyzing.. wondering.. waiting.. hoping.. wasting time & emotions on you.. Maybe even getting more attached.. You have no right to do so!! She might surprise you and decide to support you and stay by your side..

Don’t force her to waive her pride and shyness and embarrass herself by having to ask you for answers either..

It’s amazing how these days women are becoming much braver, more outspoken and confident than men (Not all of course) !!

just-say-it-justsayit-iwantapoem-quote

Relationships to Run Away From ..

Dear lady friend,

Three kinds of relationships, if you find yourself in, run away as fast as you can… 🏃 🏃 🏃 🏃

  • A relationship that has to be kept a secret
  • A relationship that belittles you or makes you unhappy
  • A relationship that keeps you confused and wondering

New Year’s Resolution !!

My ONLY New Year’s resolution: to become a better and stronger person in every way, so help me God!!!

Physically, intellectually, professionally, ethically, charitably, socially, a better daughter, mother and companion, a more focused sense of purpose …
And maybe much less Social media 😄

 

 

Our Hidden Treasures ..

In moments of despair, and they do creep on each one of us every now and then, hold on to your faith and optimism.  Stop to only think of all the good things you have in life that other people are deprived of, it could be health, family, power, possessions, beauty, intelligence, your distinguished character, or a wealth of amazing friends that keep you grounded when you’re being too dreamy and unrealistic, and take to the moon when you just cannot see even your next step.

It does magic… And all will be wonderful !!

The Parenthood Syndrome..

If your primary purpose from having children is having someone to lean on in old age, allow me to say it’s selfish.  Having children should be for the greater purpose of continuity of life.

The things I do or did for my children are purely out of love, I hate to consider them a debt they have to repay.  It takes away the glory of motherhood and of being a female.. a life- and love-giver.

All I want is for them to be safe and happy, I’ll always do my best to see to it, not expecting any returns or rewards, or for them to follow in my same footsteps or adopt my ideas and opinions.. Rather, I shall learn from them a new outlook to life.. Just as they have learned from me, one day, how to take the first steps… How to start right !!

Set the children free from the slavery of guilt and duty, and entrapment in our own old school of thought !!

Blogging ..

 So, Why Am I Doing This..?!

 

I’ve always found it easier to express my thoughts in writing rather than in speech.. I don’t really know what the underlying psychological reasoning in, nor is it of significance..  Whenever I needed to make an important request (even from my father), explain a sensitive issue, or express something emotional, my favourite instrument would be a pen !!

The essence of the matter is that I love to write..

For the sake of writing? Maybe.  It’s always been a passion and something I excel in.

For the sake of filling my time? Not really.  I can’t even find the time for it.  I’m wondering how I’m adding blogging to my life even as I write this.

But certainly because I have thoughts I’d love to share.  Some that I feel strongly about, others I’m not sure of and would love to hear other perspectives on, and finally, some crazy spur-of-the-moment ones (those may have come to me as I put myself to bed, first thoughts when I wake up, or that just popped-up and I felt excited about and didn’t lend much analysis or research to).  Definitely don’t adopt any of the above in your life before you do your own homework.

My blogs do represent my views and ideals, hence my character.  They are not, however, related in any way or give details of my personal life.  This to me has to be kept in restricted circles.

Stories included, while real, are about miscellaneous characters, people I’ve met and discussed topics with throughout my life.  Actual names or details that may reveal the actual person shall not be revealed.

Finally, I started this because I definitely want to learn from you, gain more insights and expand my views on various matters.

 

Please excuse my lack of experience in blogging..  I’m still a toddler !!!    🙂