Privilege in Calamity

I’ve searched for love for years, yearned for the feeling of being regarded as someone’s princess, lifelong dream and treasure, a survival necessity.  I seriously doubted this kind of love still existed nowadays, if it did I doubted even more it will come my way.  But I found it.. Finally.. Unbelievably… and it exceeded even my dreams and expectations…

Then it was taken away …

Such irony… When you think you have just gathered all the winning cards and gotten everything you ever wished for… At that very moment one of them gets taken away.

Don’t get me wrong… My wishes were never unrealistic or extravagant… I never cared for riches, fame or to live a dream life… I just longed for what I deem the elements of complete happiness (if there is really such a thing in this world)… Good health, wonderful children, comfortable living, a good job, amazing family and friends, fine social status and above all… Love!

I never wanted more, this was perfect, and I was extremely thankful, although I had to work hard to achieve most of the above.  Paid years of my life to have, and care for, what turned out to be amazing young men in a very challenging marriage of two conflicting personalities, but no regrets whatsoever.  So when I finally found the love I needed, I thought to myself I really cannot ask for, nor want, more.  I wished to be able to sustain what I had.  I didn’t care to become wealthy or super successful, but was elated that I finally had all my happiness essentials covered.  I wish it could’ve stayed this way.  It never does.  I enjoyed that for a year and a half then it was time to let go of one of them… Love!!

I’m still very thankful for that year and a half though… Many people go through life without experiencing it…

The tormenting part and what’s more difficult than separation is watching someone you love in pain… Life departing him slowly, daily.. Observing him transform from someone full of vigor, life, hopes and dreams to a helpless person whose biggest ambition is to be able to eat and sleep peacefully.

Despite the difficulties, I consider it a privilege that I am next to him while he’s going through this.  Taking care of him, comforting him, caressing his head and cheeks, giving him as much love as I can.

He gave me my best moments in life.  Did everything in his power, and was even creative, to make sure that the moments that mattered most to me were lived, enjoyed, captured and reserved in photos.  He went beyond the expectations or the norms in doing so.  In every minute of every day we were together, even throughout his sickness, what he worried most about was me.  I was his whole life.  He gave me life !

I’m immensely thankful for experiencing such love during my lifetime… We shall hopefully reunite again in the next eternal one

A Perspective on Praying

Today, my son apologized for “being too pushy”, nagging me to read a story he had written.  He said it’s only because my feedback is important to him.  I was not annoyed of course.  On the contrary, it made me very happy because, if anything, his nagging meant he acknowledges my expertise and skills in the field and values my feedback.  My opinion matters considerably to him, and that’s a very gratifying feeling that any parent can identify with.

His words gave me an insight into one of the reasons praying to God is of paramount importance, and why God loves that we pray and send requests to the point of nagging/insisting.

Some misrepresent God’s urging us to pray to be a self-satisfying need to feel greatness or power.  Well firstly, no being of such magnitude and powers would “need” the acknowledgement of us, the most insignificant creations.  He would be more concerned with the much grander creations (planets, galaxies, the whole universe) praying to Him (and we know they do!!).  It is we that need that.

Praying and asking God for forgiveness, for Him to be happy with you, or even for some worldly rewards, is actually a combination of the following:

  • Acknowledgement of His existence, powers and control over everything. And that nothing can happen or exist except by His wish and command.  It’s a declaration of Belief.
  • Demonstration of a need for Him.
  • Expression of concern and valuation of what He thinks.

It is a proof by deeds, not empty words, that you truly believe in Him, just in the same way that love cannot be substantiated merely with words.

A man tells a woman “he loves her”, yet she never hears from him.  She calls him 5 times a day, he dismisses the calls justifying that by replying that he’s too busy or has important meetings, he’s going out with friends, etc..  Can she still believe him? Wouldn’t she naturally question his love? Even breakup with him?! All she asked for was for him to at least call her for 5 minutes, five times a day, to tell her he remembers her, needs her, she means the world to him, and is everything in his life.  That’s the minimum a lover is expected to do.

Your employer continuously pays your salary, bonus, and other wonderful rewards.  You totally ignore his orders, are not on-time for meetings, you don’t report to him, nor even acknowledge his existence, let alone authority and judgement.  You go as far as disobeying his orders.  Isn’t it normal for him to dispense your services?!  You’re basically telling him you don’t need the money nor the position.

There is, above all that, a spiritual need for us to pray.  There’s a constantly nagging feeling when we don’t pray that we’re neglecting something important, duties, that we’re going to be accountable for!!  Our souls remain restless.

I heard once a very compelling deduction on “sleeping” (another one of science’s shortcomings of explaining why we need to sleep).  The human consists of two things: the physical body, and the soul/spirit.  The physical body’s needs are essentially the food, water and exercise.

The soul, on the other hand, has different types of needs that are equally crucial.  One of them is “sleep”! 

Sleep-deprivation leads to all kinds of issues, from weight gain to a weakened immune system, and even eventually death. And after decades of research and discoveries, the answer to the “Why we need to sleep?” is essentially not answered yet.  While it’s easy, for example, to explain the need for eating being the means to obtain the necessary nutrients, it’s not the same with sleep.  It’s not clear why the outcome of sleeping can’t happens while in the wake state.  Or what in essence is the difference between the wake and sleep states.

Islam explains “sleep” as being a form of death, calls it a “minor death”, during which the soul leaves the body and this realm, and floats to another.  The soul needs to make this separation every night, to evade this material existence, in order to rest, reset and recharge spiritually, coming closer to its Creator.  Afterwards, it either returns back to the body (if the person has more time to live) or doesn’t, and he’s declared medically dead.

This is one of the needs of the soul.  Another, is the need for the connection/communication with its Creator through prayer and supplication.  It greatly comforts the weary and anxious soul.

He needs our prayer?!  A being that created such an unfathomable universe with all its creatures, the ones we know and the much more we have yet to know, needs us tiny little beings to acknowledge that he’s powerful?! Really?!!

It is we that need to reach out to Him and draw ourselves closer to Him.  And He Knows that, because He created us and is merely telling us how to live our lives in the manner that brings us happiness and serenity.

Dear Atheist.. Let’s talk logic !!


Ego is rightfully placed amongst the biggest sins because it causes us to perceive ourselves as being much bigger and more knowledgeable than we actually are, when viewing life and the world..
We’re smaller than a speck of dust compared to the universe, and our knowledge, yet smaller.  There is no justification, nor historical reference for that matter, for thinking that we’ve reached a stage where we KNOW IT ALL.  Nonetheless, we’re driven by our ego that causes us to demand of the Creator, controller, and motion-organizer of this vast universe to give us a proof of His existence and power .. as if all the miracles that exist in our own selves and everything around us are not enough!

Spiritual-wise:  (if you’re spiritually-oriented then..)

Faith is a need and urge that exists in our innate nature.. He is in no need for us, it is WE who need Him, we need to believe in the Great Creator that has brought us to being, and to hold on to faith in order to rest our, otherwise, troubled souls.. this need keeps nagging upon us.  We feel otherwise lost trying to answer questions like who are we, and what is the purpose of all of this? And… What next?!!

This is particularly evident in times of severe and sudden psychological trauma, fear, or despair, when one gets freed from all reservations, and acts in absolute spontaneity.  This is when even atheists find themselves begging for God’s Help and Mercy.
It is also the reason behind the noticeable tranquility, calmness in demeanor, peace and contented smile observed in people of strong faith and religion.  It is not attributed to wealth as it’s found even with the poorest of people, definitely not because they enjoy a good retirement system!  This calmness is especially unmistakable is Muslims, because they know they got it right.  Those who have strong, unshaken conviction based on knowledge and research feel certain they have found the last piece in the hugely complex puzzle of their spirituality that “Clicked” in place, causing them to experience satisfaction in wholesomeness and clarity, and are therefore relieved, reassured, and calm at last.  They amazingly find privilege in calamity, knowing that hardships are God’s way of purifying a person of sins, reminding the soul of its Creator, keeping it grounded, not overtaken by ego yet again, bringing it closer to Him and the warmth of His Mercy and Care.

Those that live without holding on to believing in God, on the other hand, mostly live in anxiety and restlessness, as reported by many ex-atheists who felt lost, confused, and in immense need for guidance.

Proof-wise:  (if you’re science-oriented)

The proofs to the existence of God are countless and in abundance, in every single one of His creations.  It’s unexplainable how a logical human would not accept that a glass of water can exist without someone making it, yet they are willing to concede the existence of this unfathomable universe without a Creator.

Atheists argue that religion does not give us tangible proof or answers to every single thing.  Well, science fails to, and is not able to, answer all questions.  It remains incapable of providing explanations for numerous things.  Yet atheists are willing to bet their lives and the Ever-after on it, rather than bet on religion which presents far more evidence on the existence of a Creator.

They ask, so who created God? Which totally contradicts with calling Him a Creator.

This is exactly why God says in the Quran that of all the believers, it is scientists that have the most fear of God (having known His Power and Abilities through the study of His Creations).  Of course here we’re talking about the scientists who are humble enough to admit it, not those who perceive that science made them all powerful and too big to bow to a Creator, how little they become when they’re that inflated!  And that is why we witness many atheist scientists converting to Islam (being the most logical religion).

Business-wise:   (if you’re business and profitability-oriented)

Consider the following:

  • Around 7% of the World’s population only are Atheists (around half of which are in China, the second biggest majority in Russia, both countries influenced by their regimes into adopting atheism.  Both seeing a conversion movement.).  So wouldn’t probability suggest that 93% are more likely to be right?  And why is it that most of the elite scientists are not atheists?
  • Science is still unable to answer many critical questions (After life, soul, purpose of life, origin of universe, and many many more. Religion also does not answer some questions, which are considered kept by the All-Knowing for purposes unknown to us, but also gives us some answers to questions science can’t.  Yet, you’d rather risk your whole life on science, a created being in itself with all its laws, mechanics and theories, rather than place your bet on the one that created science?
  • Considering above arguments, associated risk in both scenarios, and probability that greatly favors the likelihood that God exists, ask yourself:

What if you were wrong?!!

What you stand to lose here far exceeds what a person of faith would lose if he discovered he was wrong.


  • Accountability: Atheism is mostly favored by certain people to escape accountability and the fact that this gives them endless freedom to do what they desire without fear of consequences (repercussion).  But think about this… Every human system that exists applies the rules of accountability, ever since we were children, at home, in school, college, at work.. etc.  So, in the holistic life-system, are we not accountable for how good or bad we are? And if not, what could possibly motivate us to excel and do more in charity and kindness? What compels us to go above and beyond our basic law-enforced duties and do the right thing? On the flip side, what stops us from being obnoxious?
  • Purpose: Every object that exists in our life has a purpose, so what is the purpose of ours? Why do we even bother to get up in the morning and work?
  • Morality: What is our source of morality? Atheists sometimes argue that we can be non-believers yet conduct ourselves in the highest ethical standards.  True, But…

Who’s to say or decide what’s right or wrong? Where is the reference if not religion?  Why wouldn’t people have a sexual relationship with a sibling for example? Why would they get married, they can just have sex in the street, with whoever, or whatever for that matter.  Where did the laws of conduct come from?  And let’s say you happen to be a civilized, well-balanced, ethical human, don’t you think there are very bad atheists, with absolutely no moral inclination?  Wouldn’t you then fear for your children, daughter, sister, mother, the elderly? How would the society look like when people have no predisposition to try to do only the right thing?

  • Motivation: If we assume this whole life is for nothing, no purpose, no creator, no accountability whatsoever, and no afterlife, why not we all end it and solve our every problem?  It would be easier than having to go through all struggles and challenges.  What motivates us to continues living, working hard, getting up in the morning, if all this was for nothing at all?
  • Order: This extreme order and organization that’s apparent in every single aspect of this life HAS to be controlled and managed by some all-knowing all-magnificent power. It can’t be just a chaotic/unorderly sequence of events.  Every single man-made system that exists (e.g. machines, governments, production lines, health systems, education, etc. ) has a manager or a parallel mechanism that controls and monitors it, in order to ensure it operates/runs properly and corrects any mistakes should it deviate from normal/intended path.  There has to be a manager with checks and balances done.  This is a law of life we’re living by daily.  So who’s the Creator and Manager of the greatest and biggest of all systems?  Nature is a creation in itself, it doesn’t have the intelligence or knowledge to make things happen.  Whereas whoever created and is controlling this unfathomable universe has to have an amount of intelligence that is beyond our imagination and comprehension.  Yet, as insignificant as we are compared to the universe, our ego become so inflated with the minute amount of science we’ve come to know and the first thing we decided to do is to challenge our Creator and deny His existence.  Ask Him to prove Himself to us.  How dare we??!!
  • Innate knowledge: How were all the creatures, humans, animals and plants, born with innate knowledge that guided them on what they should do from the moment they were born? How did the spider learn to create a web so perfect that it takes a skilled artist or architect years to learn to do?  How did the new leaves on a plant know where to stem from when it was discovered that the new stem location process follows a Fibonacci numbering system?  Where did the unbelievable amount of knowledge found in our DNA come from when nature itself is a non-intelligent creation?

It just doesn’t make sense at all!!!

You know what makes sense?

It is that we are here for a purpose, there is a Creator, this life is only but a short phase no matter how long we live and it passes so quickly, and we shall have to come face to face with all our actions, good or bad, someday!!

Yet God puts us in higher standing and regards us more than we really deserve, favoring us to angels for having willingly chosen to worship Him, unlike angels who have no will or ability to choose.

The stakes are just too high for you to keep on ignoring this matter.  My sincere advice: read, research, learn, ask (pray) with all sincerity for guidance and truth, approach the topic with a totally open and unbiased mind, and above all, with humility.  Humble yourself enough to conceit a possibility of a Creator that you should ask for help.  And finally, put your ego, other peoples’ influences, and worldly matters aside.

He loses nothing with or without you on His side. YOU stand to lose EVERYTHING, and ETERNALLYThis IS the most important project you need to work on in your life.

You only get one chance, one lifetime, so please get it right!!


Do Not Cheer Me When I’m Wrong

Do Notpraise me if I don’t deserve praise.

Do Nottell me I look good just to flatter me, or hoping that I “return the compliment”.

Do Notlike my photos, posts, or what I write if you don’t really like them or you disagree.

Do Notsend me happy birthday wishes if you do it out of courtesy or duty.

Do Notgift me for any reason other than sincerely wanting to.

Do Not tell me you like me or miss me if you really don’t.

Do Not commend any of my acts if they’re wrong or unjust.

Do Not support me if I stray.

Do Not tell me I’m good when I’m being bad.

One genuine, loving, sincere word is to me worth much more than all the fake likes and compliments.  And one genuine, sincere, loving friend is worth a hundred fake ones.

I totally understand being nice to people, wanting to make them feel great and lifting up their spirits.  This is honorable and commendable.  But when it’s done for special interests, expecting reciprocation, in social hypocrisy, or for fear of upsetting the praised person, it becomes ugly and distasteful.


One important sign of class is showing consideration and respect to others. This has no correlation whatsoever with financial or social status or race.

One example is how people cross the street. There are those who try to clear the distance quickly and nod to waiting cars in appreciation (classy), and those who tread slowly and don’t even acknowledge the cars waiting (arrogant).

A humble, Indian man today crossed the street in front of me and waved as a thank you, running so as not to make me wait. Much classier than most nowadays!! I saluted back thanking God for such polite humans.

It’s those little things 🙂

Am I Happily Unmarried?

A few days ago I was asked if I was happy being unmarried.  The answer came out without hesitation: “It’s absolutely much better than having to live with the wrong person, yet again, worse than being with someone that you love.”

Becoming single once again gave me so many things that I’m thankful for.  It, most importantly, showed me my strengths, that I am perfectly capable of sustaining myself, succeeding, living on my own without relying on anyone, something I’ve cherished from an early age.  It introduced me again to my passions, the things I like to do but have always set aside in favor of other priorities.  I re-discovered Me.  I was forced to learn to do stuff I never knew anything about because there was always someone else handling them.

We leave our parents’ safe-haven to the guardianship of our partner without learning the essentials of life and survival.  We remain shielded from the realities of paying the bills, rental procedures, employment contracts, car maintenance, etc.  This is not to be misunderstood as being the parents’ mistake, rather our wrong, misinformed decision to get married and completely surrender our reins before knowing what life is all about and learning the rules of the “jungle”.

This period of independence and self-reliance is essential, preferably before marriage.  The self-discovery and self-improvement would even make things easier on the partner and increase the marriage’s potential for success.

Other benefits of being single we all know..

First there’s the obvious, having the bed ALL to yourself 🙂 .  Then, not having to coordinate your plans, time and vacations or compromise on anything you enjoy doing.  Traveling as you wish and exercising all the spontaneity your heart desires.  You’re not responsible for anyone, nor are you accountable to anyone.  You’re the master of your life.

Drifting in thought while counting my blessings, I stop for a couple of minutes and go back to an idea I always believed in..

“Being married to someone you deeply love and get along very well with is Heaven on Earth.”

All accomplishments, achievements, fortunes, and good times, dwindle against the fulfillment of  sharing them with someone special.  Sharing the laughter, stories, pains, planning, traveling, and rewards.  After all, what meaning and flavor is there to life if not for the happy moments.

And no amount of success, richness, makeup, and surgeries can make you look and feel as beautiful and radiant with glow and shine as when happily in love.

Surely, “The only reason for marriage is love” _Diana Spencer

آفة التندر والسخرية

لم أجد شعوبًا توظّف التندر والاستهزاء بالآخرين مادةً لضحكاتها قدر الشعوب العربية، ولا أجد أقوامًا تضيع وقتها في صياغة النكات مثلنا.. وليتها جاءت من شعوب تملك مقومات الغرور والشعور بالفوقية.. أم أنه الشعور المبطّن بالضعف والنقص والازدحام بالعيوب أو قلة الحيلة يدفع صاحبه لتصيّد ما يغطي به سوأته؟؟؟

وبغض النظر عن وجود تلك العيوب والصفات التي يخصونها بالسخرية بالفعل.. لا يحق لأحدٍ أن يسخر من أحد أو يقلّل من شأنه… وبالأخص في سماته الخُلُقية وظروف حياته، أو طريقة كلامه ومشيته وملبسه، وغير ذلك

أرجو أن لا يساء فهمي بأنني ضد الضحك، بل أنا في الحقيقة أعشقه… إلا أنني لا أرضى أن يكون ذلك على حساب آخرين وإن لم يصلهم

وإن كانت السخرية من الخصال التي تدخل في صميم تكويننا وحمضنا النووي فلنوجهها على من يظلم العباد أو يكذب أو يؤذي غيره، ولتكن في أفعاله تلك فقط وليس في شكله أو عيوبه الخُلُقية أو مظهره.. ولنوظّف طاقاتنا المبهرة على الإضحاك في إصلاح آفات مجتمعنا وما أكثرها

So, what IS Islam?

It’s all about being virtuous and good to others.  Treating with utmost kindness, mercy, and generosity your parents, children, neighbors, the orphans, the helpless, the poor, and even the captive.

Refrain from and denounce all that is bad: Drinking Alcohol, stealing, committing adultery, fornication, gambling, lying, cheating, hypocrisy, treating anyone with injustice, racism or inequality, gluttony, greed, selfishness, arrogance, harming others from any faith or background in anyway or form.

Perform and promote all that is good:  Love, peace, equality among all God’s creatures, justice even on oneself or those closest, treating parents with utmost respect, being kind to and NOT causing harm to any of God’s creatures, human, animals, even as tiny as ants, or plants; honesty, charity, generosity, fidelity, mercy, forgiveness, visiting the sick, and not taking anything that was not rightfully hard-earned.

Main Differences from Christianity?

Why would your Creator give you something then ask you NOT to use it?  

  1. Islam doesn’t ask you to take/accept things and believe them merely on faith, on the contrary, it calls on people to use the most precious gifts they were given: Their minds, intellect, and senses.  In the Quran, verse after verse calls on mankind to observe, seek knowledge, reflect, and ask questions and ultimately connect the dots by using the faculties of human reason, confident in that sincere seeking of the truth only leads to God.  Terms used in the Quran in various contexts can best be translated as “to reason”, “reflect”, “ponder”, etc.

God urges mankind to practice “critical thinking”, not ordinary or shallow thinking. 

2.  There is no God but The One and Only God. He has no child nor was He born.  All prophets, including Abraham, Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad, are human and messengers chosen to convey His message to the peoples.

Similarities with Christianity?  

  • Muslims are sincere and accurate followers of everything prophet Jesus preached. Their way of praying, fasting and their view of The Creator aligns with that which prophet Jesus taught.  Jesus never, in the original scriptures, claimed at any point that he was God or preached to be regarded as God, or introduced Trinity, or said he was the son of God.  Evidence to that can be found in the Bible.
  • One CANNOT be considered a Muslim UNLESS he truly believes in Jesus.  Loves, respects and regards him as highly as he regards prophet Muhammad and every other prophet.

The single and most important advice

Do not take anyone’s word for it, even mine.  Conduct your own research with a pure, unbiased heart that genuinely seeks to know what is good and right.  Do not be a follower of mainstream media or how it portrays and stereo-types Muslims.  Do not even look to Muslims to judge the Religion, a huge percentage of them are not practicing Muslims just like most Christians aren’t.  Some may even have insufficient knowledge, or an incorrect understanding and hence provide the wrong information.

Quran’s standing challenges:

  • No person could ever create a chapter or even verse that is as strong and profound in structure, wording, meaning and effect as the Quran.
  • There can be no contradiction or anything that does not make perfect sense in the Quran.
  • There can be no contradiction in the Quran with any proven scientific fact neither now or ever.
  • Not a single word or letter was ever altered by humans. It consists ONLY of words of the Creator conveyed to his prophet Muhammad.
  • Any alteration of even a single letter impacts the miraculous structure of the Quran.

Do yourself a favor… READ the Quran and other books on Islam.  No one loses anything from reading a book !!  It will at least give you a better understanding of the religion unjustly under attack nowadays.

(Video below is the recitation of the very first, opening, chapter of the Quran, with translation). 




حــــياء الرجال وقوامتهم

موضوعٌ لطالما أزعجني… وقد عادت فاستفزتني لأكتب فيه قصصٌ وآراء متعددة سمعتها مؤخرًا في جلسات المعارف والأصدقاء من الجنسين

خلق الله الرجال والنساء بخصائص مختلفة ومتميزة لإحداث توازنٍ جميل في الكون ما بين القسوة والليونة، والخشونة والرقة، والعقل المطلق والعاطفة .. ولم يضع ميزانين مختلفين لتقييمهما ومحاسبتهما أو مكافأتهما… فالاختلاف هو للموازنة والتكامل وليس للتفريق وإعطاء أي منهما تميّزًا

إن أردت أن تعرف حجم رذيلةٍ ما فاستبدل الرجل بالمرأة للموقف ذاته 

وستدهش حين تدرك

أننا مجتمعٌ ذكوري يعاني من ازدواجية المعايير حدّ المرض المزمن

فقد وصلنا إلى مستوى تقبل الرذيلة من الرجل على أنها شيءٌ عادي بل ومتوقّع، نُدهش لعدم حدوثه.. لكن نرجم بالكلمات والسياط أي امرأةٍ تأتي بمثلها.. ونصوّرها بأبشع طريقة رغم أن كلاهما مخطئ بنفس الدرجة..

أن الرجل (من العدل أن نقول معظم الرجال وليس الجميع) لا يخجل أبدًا من ذكر معصيته وكشف ستر الله عليه وحتى المجاهرة بها أمام الملأ، وقد أُمرنا بأن نستتر إن ابتلينا بالمعاصي، فيكون رد فعل من حوله الاكتفاء بالضحك أو الابتسام هذا إن لم يُمتدح على “منجزاته”. وتذكر المرأة معصيتها فتوصم بأشنع الصفات وقد تُنبذ

أن ادعاءنا الدائم بأن عقليتنا متطورة ومنفتحة للغاية، وبأننا عادلون في محاكمتنا طرفي المجتمع هو ادعاءٌ واهم.. نحن لم نصل إلى هذه الدرجة من العدل بعد، ولن نستطيع ذلك في المستقبل المنظور بعد قرونٍ من ترسباتٍ اجتماعية وعادات تستحكمنا

معظمنا يقبل من الرجل النظر إلى النساء أو إبداء الإعجاب بأوصافهن الجسدية على أنه “أمرٌ طبيعي للغاية” و”صِفةٌ ليس باستطاعة الرجل تغييرها كونها متأصلة فيه جينيّا”، في حين نستهجن من المرأة القيام بذلك

يضع الرجل على صفحات التواصل الاجتماعي صور لنساء عاريات، أو ما يقارب ذلك، أو في أوضاع مغرية، تغزلًا بجمالهن وفتنتهن فيتقبلها الجميع بمرح واستحسان دون أي تأنيبٍ له أو تعزير. يُمتّع أصدقاؤه من الرجال أنظارهم بها على اعتبار أنها امرأة ارتضت لنفسها إظهار جسدها فلا حرج عليهم، ولا يدركون أنها محارم الله بغض النظر عن مسؤولية تلك المرأة. أما أصدقاؤه من النساء فإما يبدين إعجابهن إظهارًا “لتفتّح عقليتهن”، أو من الباب التملق الاجتماعي. وهو كله ما يشجعه على المضي في ذلك على اعتبار أنه ينال إعجاب واستلطاف الجميع بخفة دمه وعميق تذوّقه “للجمال الرباني”. في حين ستُرمى امرأة تجرؤ على وضع صور رجال عراة أو ما يقارب ذلك (وهو حقيقةً ما لم أشهده حتى الآن من أي امرأة أعرفها) بأسوأ الألقاب، بل وستزال تمامًا من قوائم أصدقائها من الجنسين على اعتبار جرأتها ووقاحتها.

لكأن الشرف وفقدانه مرتبط دائمًا بالمرأة.. ولكأن المرأة وأي ضعفٍ يصدر عنها هو وراء كل الآفات والمشكلات.. ولكأن العلم لم يثبت مرارًا أن الحاجات والغرائز والمشاعر تجاه الطرف الآخر واحدة بالنسبة للرجال والنساء… ولكأن ديننا لم يؤكد ذلك صراحةً عندما فرض عقابًا متطابقًا تمامًا لكليهما عند الإتيان بالذنب ذاته ولم يفرق بينهما في ذلك أبدًا

لا أكره شيئًا قدر الظلم.. ومِن أوجُه ذلك الظلم ازدواجية المعيار، وتحميل المرأة وشكلها وملبسها وتصرفاتها وأي لحظة ضعفٍ تقع فيها كل أسباب الفشل والفقر واللعنات، ووضعها تحت المراقبة المجهرية المستمرة والتشديد عليها في كلّ صغيرةٍ وكبيرة في حين لا رقيب على الرجل سوى ذاته

إن استغراب حدوث شيء ما أو الاهتمام الزائد به هو دليل على عدم تقبّل المجتمع لحدوثه مسبقًا. كي أوضح فإن الاستغراب لتولي أمريكي من أصول أفريقية الرئاسة هو دليل عقود سابقة من التفرقة ضدهم. بالمثل فإن الحماس الذي ترافق مع ترشح امرأة للمنصب ذاته هو دليل على تفرقة تاريخية ضد المرأة ونظرة دونية لها

حين يترشح شخص لمنصب ما فالطبيعي والمفترض، والذي يتشدق به الجميع نظريًا، هو أن الاختيار يتم وفقًا للشخص ذاته ومؤهلاته وخبراته دون النظر بأي درجة إلى أيٍ من صفاته الشخصية من عرق ولون وجنس وعقيدة. وبالتالي فإن ترشح امرأة أو شخص من أصول أفريقية يجب نظريًا أن يكون أمرًا طبيعيًا للغاية ومتوقعًا في كل يوم، ولا يرافقه هذه “الفرحة المفتعلة” بكوننا مجتمعات لا تعرف التفرقة وتتعامل بتكافؤ الفرص والحقوق والواجبات. لا يهمني مثلًا أن أصوّت لامرأة أو شخص من أصول أفريقية فقط لإظهار نظرتي المتكافئة للجميع، فهو أمرٌ مزروع في بصورة طبيعية وقد تربيت عليه فلا أحتاج لإثباته حتى أمام نفسي

أيتها المرأة: لا تكوني عدوة بنات جنسك بالتصرف والتفكير بذات الأسلوب الذي فرضه عليكِ مجتمعٌ سقيم، يتغذّى على تحميل المرأة كافة أوزاره وأخطائه حتى إخراج بني آدم من الجنة، ويسعى لإشعارها دومًا بالضعف ووجوب تبرئة الذات وإثبات الجدارة. أول المطالَبين بالخروج عن هذا الإطار هنّ النساء (وهو ما لن يحدث للأسف).  فيجب عليها مثلًا من منطلق المعاملة بالمثل وكما يفعل الرجال، أن لا تقبل الزواج إلا بمن “ما باست تمه غير إمه”.. وأن لا تنظر بعين الاحترام أو تفكر بارتباط جدّي برجلٍ لم يضع لنفسه قيود العذرية قبل الزواج، أو ارتضى الدخول معها في علاقةٍ غير شرعية لكون ذلك يجعلها “تشك في جدارته كزوج سيحافظ على شرف العائلة”.. إن كنت ستنبذين المرأة لإتيانها معصية (وأنا ضد ذلك لأن لله وحده حق الحساب وقد يكون ذو المعصية أحيانًا خيرًا من غيره من مدّعي الدين) فلتنبذي الرجل أيضًا للسبب ذاته. طبّقي العدل على نفسك وعلى عائلتك وأصدقائك، قبل أن تلومي المجتمع على ظلمه لك

عزيزي آدم: لك منا الحب والاحترام والاهتمام سواء كنت الأب أو الأخ أو الزوج أو الابن.. أما الوصاية فهي على القصر وفاقدي الأهلية.. وأما الولاية فهي تبعات ومسؤوليات وليست امتيازًا تفتخر به وتسئ استخدامه..  وما لا ترضى من أختك أو ابنتك أن تأتيه وتستهجنه منها هو بنفس الدرجة من السوء إن أنت فعلته

ليست لك أية امتيازاتٍ على حواء سوى بما فضّل الله بعضكم على بعض من العلم والتقوى، تمامًا كامتيازك على غيرك من الرجال. ذنبك ليس مغفور أبدًا حتى على مستوى النظرة، بداعي جنسك وكروموسوماتك إلا بقدر ما يشاء الله، وبقدرٍ يعادل ما يغفره لحواء من ذنوبها

الحجاب ليس فرضًا على المرأة وحدها، فللرجل حجابٌ يتمثّل في حجب نظره عما هو محرّمٌ عليه وإن عُرض أمامه

 والحياء مطلوبٌ من الرجل ومستحبٌ منه بقدر ما هو مطلوبٌ من المرأة

أيها الزوج: ما لا ترضاه من زوجتك في حضورك أو غيابك يجب أن تكون أول الممتنعين عنه في حضورها وغيابها، لا فرق بينكما ولست مسامحًا في أي تصرفٍ لا ترضى من زوجتك بمثله فقط لكونك رجل. إذا أردت أن تزن صحة تصرّفٍ ما توشك القيام به، فتخيّل أولًا أن زوجتك أتت به. فإن قبلته وارتحت لذلك فافعله، وإلا فهو ليس مسموحًا لك. الرعاية الصحيحة التي امتزت بها تتحقق بأن تكون القدوة بأفعالك، وليس بفرض ذلك على زوجك. قِوامَتُك تقتصر على إنفاقك عليها ورعايتك لمصالحها، وهي طرفٌ شريك وليس تابع أو خاضع لأوامرك. لن تُحاسب عنها ولا تزر وازرةٌ وزر أخرى، إنما أُمرتَ بالنصح الطيب لا أكثر.

لسنا في العصر الذي كان الرجل فيه يضع حياته على راحة كفه ويتجه للحرب فتراتٍ طويلة، أو يكون مضطرًا معظم الوقت لأن يعرّض حياته للخطر دفاعًا عن المرأة الضعيفة من الحيوانات المفترسة والأعداء، أو يتحمل بمفرده أشغالًا شاقة لا تستطيع زوجته القيام بها ليوفّر لزوجه وعائلته كافة احتياجاتهم

ذلك الزمان انتهى… والمرأة تجاهد اليوم قدر جهاد الرجل بل يتجاوزه في كثيرٍ من الأحيان، ويكفيها أعباء زائدة عنك معاناتُها الشهرية وحملُها وولاداتها

لم نعد نحتاج منكم سوى للحب والمودة والرحمة والتشارك في المسؤوليات، وهو أيضًا ما نبذله لكم بمنتهى السعادة والرضا

مسؤولية الأهل عن تصرفات أبنائهم تنتهي مع بلوغ الأبناء سن الرشد، فما الذي يجعلك عزيزي الرجل تعتقد بمسؤوليتك ووصايتك على تصرفات المرأة، أيًا كانت بالنسبة لك، حتى مماتها؟

أيها الآباء والأمهات: ربوا بناتكم على مراقبة أنفسهن دون الحاجة إلى رقيب، تمامًا كتربيتكم أبناءكم من الذكور. وحاسبوهم على الخطأ بنفس الدرجة والأسلوب

كلماتي ليست دعوة للمرأة للخروج عن دينها ولا يفهمها بهذا المعنى إلا أعمى البصيرة، إنما هو دعوةٌ للعدل، ودعوةٌ للرجل والمرأة والمجتمع للعودة إلى الدين كما أراد الله له وليس كما يلويه مجتمعٌ ذكوري كي يناسب أهواءه ورغباته

في السياق ذاته أقول للمرأة في مجتمعنا توقّفي عن معاملة الرجل كما لو أنّه يتوجّب عليه بذل الكنوز والغالي والنفيس ومحاربة السباع و.. و.. و.. ليحظي بشرف الزواج بك. فكما أن المطلوب منه إثبات جدارته بك كرجل وزوج (وليس آلة سحب نقدي)، يتعيّن عليك أنت أيضًا أن تكوني جديرةً به. لا تعامليه كما لو كنت “السلطانة” فأمامه الكثيرات ممن هن جديرات به دون أن تعاملنه بهذا “الاستنزاف”. احترمي وقدّري عقله وشخصه ليري فيك ما هو أكثر من “حريم”.

على المجتمع استعمال الميزان ذاته في محاكمة جميع أطرافه .. وإلى أن يحدث ذلك سنبقى في المؤخرة

Greatness comes in different forms…

It’s not “pretentious respect”… It’s not about being flamboyant, dazzling or charming the woman in your company with “the right moves, looks and words”… It’s about honest, genuine, and deep respect; genuine love, that manifests itself loud and clear not just in her presence, but more importantly in her absence

If I hadn’t seen it first-hand, I would NEVER have believed such a man, especially an Arab, existed.

This man sets the bar so high, although essentially this is EXACTLY how marriage should be.  Restoring my faith in men, eliminating a myriad of bad stories I heard and saw associated with marriage, there are wonderful men out there, in every sense of the word “Wonder”.

So here’s the story…

A few days ago I was invited to a dinner with several people, high status business men and women.  One character was especially astounding to me, actually to everyone, not for any reason other than his unbelievable love, loyalty, and respect to his wife of 35 years of marriage.  The man literally spent half of the whole evening (if not more) talking about nothing other than her, how deeply in love he was with her, how he respects her and his in-laws, how proud he is that he never EVER cheated on her with another, not even with as much as a phone call, or a single flirtatious word.  How they never eat a meal, travel, attend an event, without each other.  How even when he has to take the odd quick trip without her, he doesn’t start having breakfast till he turns on his mobile (which has a picture of her smiling as wall paper!!) and places it in-front of him then starts eating.

I wouldn’t have believed it, and would’ve thought he’s idolizing himself in order to impress, had he not have her photo as mobile cover, had countless photos of her walking, talking, eating, laughing, the guy was as obsessed as anyone could be with the one he loves.  He showed us a sample of his daily morning whatsapp messages to her (and to his two daughters, lest they’d get jealous, which were also different than the mother’s messages) containing sweet words of love and prayer that God Blesses and Protects her for him.

I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen myself how as he was approaching us from afar to the location of the restaurant to make intros, and was accompanying one of the businesswomen (stunning if I may add), had kept meters separating them while walking, actually even using the slope while she used the stairs with a rail barrier in between, simply because he never wants to put himself in a position of suspicion, any slight temptation, or even insinuate in any way to this lady or any other, EVER, that he might even consider any personal communication with any other than his wife.  He mentioned he even usually calls his wife when with a company comprising ladies and puts the video on making intros so that she and the ladies feel that her presence (even if just virtual) is respected.

It wasn’t out of fear as one may think, because there’s no way for his wife to verify any of his stories in her absence.  Nor was it for religious reasons because, as he put it, “Although it’s what our religion calls for, but to me it is more of what I consider to be the logical, ethical and acceptable approach to establishing a solid relationship, setting the standard and model for the whole household”.  (For those curious, he’s a Muslim).

It was merely and purely out of tremendous respect for his lifetime partner, and very high moral standards he’d set for himself and boasts of.

It was felt in every single word he said as he went on and on about her, her family, their way of life.  He was also describing why this has to be the way in marriage, and the way a wife is treated.  I just couldn’t believe my ears comparing his words to the pathetic patterns we see and hear of nowadays, defacing the concept and institution of marriage.  Those who glorify themselves in managing God-knows how many cheating incidents, “living their life to the fullest” without being caught.

And as if this all wasn’t enough, and to the surprise of all surprises, came the last and most profound piece of evidence that sealed my belief in the genuineness of this man’s words.

As we headed out and waited for our cars to be brought by the valet, he called her.  Yes, he did, for a quick chat.  Not the last one for the day as he explained, since there’s still that call right before going to bed.  But that wasn’t what surprised me.  What to me was absolutely incredible was the look on his face while he talked to her, his facial expressions, the glow and smile on his face as they joked and giggled, the tremendous amount of love you could see in his gleaming eyes.  It was as if he was talking to her for the first time.  Our cars came and he was still talking to her, we waited courteously till he (reluctantly) ended his call to bid us farewell.

Nothing could describe the way he looked while talking to her better than a teenager talking to his new found love.  You just can’t fake that !!!

His own words were: “If not her, the one who believed in me enough to trust her life and future with me, who else deserves my respect and honor out of all the people I deal with throughout life?!”….


Greatness truly comes in different forms… God Bless him, his wife, his family, and the love they share.

And just an FYI, this man is ex-military for many years, yet he comes with such humility and tender heart towards his wife and family first and foremost, then towards other people.

Amen for all men !!!

Women, don’t settle for less, but you have to be to him a wife worthy of such love.  It always takes two.